So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
