Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
