Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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