hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
