I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
