the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
