Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
please don't ironically join a cult
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