I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it's like iHOP with fire
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
