I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You are a genius and a whore.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
