Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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