He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
