Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
sarcasm needs its own font
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
