thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize