Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
