I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
