So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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