I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
