btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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