That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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