I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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