Her vagina should come with caution tape.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
