I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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