forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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