You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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