Buhtt sex?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm at about main and main street
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
