Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
