Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize