I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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