Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
