I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
