there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My balls are so social today.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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