I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
