why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
