P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
