Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize