Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
