the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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