You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
