i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
