I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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