I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
