Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
