there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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