just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize