i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
