i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
