I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
