You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
