Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize