my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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