I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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