Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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