is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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