I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize