i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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