dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
