The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
